Quitting Facebook: The FOMO Catch Up

Lemme tell you a lil story about an man named NO!.... And apparently, the gyst of that story is that I shouldn't blog before I have finished my first cup of coffee.  Is that going to stop me right now?  NO.  Remember, deep down, you love me!

In a burst of inspiration, I added a third day to my break from Facebook in February.  It was only supposed to be two days; but all of the people who are logging off for Lent are just so awesome.  Clearly, I'm not nearly as awesome...strong...determined?  Well, when it comes to The Book of Face, anyhow. 

Overall, it was a good break.  The Boy and I played silly games.  I made him read to me (a school requirement), practice multiplication facts and this week's spelling list.  Yeah, he LOVES me right now.  We have also been tuned into the Gravity Falls marathon, awaiting the final episode tonight. I want to be Mabel when I grow up....  Grappling hook!

I also spent most of the extended weekend in achy pain.  Short version (ha!):  Domino's Pizza and I are no longer on speaking terms and I suspect my blood pressure might have been higher than my meds will handle.The aches are way less intense this morning.  In fact, until I started my coffee, I wasn't really feeling yucky at all.  That beesh is only half caff, too!

So, yeah, a good time was had by all.  Valentine's Day was a standard Sunday.  I'm content this Monday morn....Except when I log onto The Book of Face.  Last week, I noted that I didn't feel any fear that I was missing out on the online party.  This past weekend, I still didn't feel that I was missing anything huge...Okay, I missed immediately seeing the pictures of a friends new baby, but I got to see them today.  I'm good there.  It was the never-ending news feed that got me.  My attention span is short...and easily interrupted. By an adorable child that apparently has begun to reflect on the different potions he wants to brew.....  Where was I?  Oh, right, short attention span.  Like many other people, I can only scroll through my feed for several seconds before I want to move onto something else.  Three days worth of news feed would require an hour of focus. I am beginning to miss out.

Truth, I'm a little worried that I'm going to miss some major news from loved ones during this personal challenge.  I'm going to miss more and more information as my breaks increase.  Still, I come back to comparisons to the days before all of this digital connection.  There were days, so many moons ago, that I didn't know A LOT of the daily moments happening to the people I love.  I was still okay.  They were still okay.  We were bound to update each other on the really important stuff when we would talk face-to-face.  I survived.  We all survived.  It CAN be done.  All will still be well.

In the mean time, the biggest thing I'm probably missing out on is a shower.  Since our water test came back with zero counts for lead and copper (Flint, baby!), it will be nice to not worry about one of the best parts of daily life.  The fresh start and preparation to revel in the daily muck of life all over again.

Let the Rhythm Move You!

Hello!  Long time no see, huh?  For those "in the know," I'm okay.  Mostly.  As is the way with this current chemo cocktail, I got one issue sorted out just to have another rear a very nasty head.  Now, this current issue is almost sorted out and I'm able to get back to my scrappy ways..... Only, that month-ish break really hit my creativity hard.  After watching a metric ton of YouTube videos, and signing up for a class at Shimelle.com, I finally have something to share. Today's share is from the class, Return to the Collection.

Earlier in the Summer, DS had a chance to attend a family barbecue and local parade.  My MIL sent me these pictures, to show how much fun he was having.

Since the goal of the class is to use *a* collection *and* a richer tapestry of embellishment, I can easily say that most of this page is somehow brought to you by Fancy Pants Designs.  In this case, it's the Everyday Circus collection.  The red alphas are MME; and other details are listed below.

• The three monkeys on the bike are actually cut from the 6x6 version of the larger cut-apart page.  
• The red foil stars were cut from a sheet of FP foil paper, months ago.  I also saved the negative space from all of that die-cutting for  background strips on other pages.  
• The wood veneer smiley is from Freckled Fawn; the sequins are from Doodlebug.
• The red stitched arrow started off as a simple stamped image, using an arrow set from Sassafras Lass (as is the image of multiple arrows below it).  Something in me insisted that the space needed to be filled AND that I needed something soft.  Red floss to the rescue!....And followed by a "thinker's" headache that lasted the rest of the day.  
• The same arrangement was repeated in the lower left corner.
• I decided to use the rays of the background paper as my journaling lines
• Also, I used a recent birthday purchase -- one of those mini inky dauber doohickies to edge the photos, paper and many of the elements.  According to that link, it's a blending tool.  Of course, "doohicky" seems to work well with me right now.

And "doohicky" is probably also a really good clue that I should wrap things up for now.  If you actually stopped by and had a look, I thank you.  Within the next 24 hours, I should have this page also posted in my galleries at scrapbook(dot)com AND A Cherry On Top; with products noted.  I'm going to try to come back and share at least one more page I have recently made; hopefully getting back into a groove.  I'm not even worried about participating in challenges this month and I'll take next month a day at a time.  Stressing about crafting achievements isn't exactly on my to-do list right now.

First Day of Vacay

Good Morning!

It's been a few days, but I have another page to share.  This time, it's my submission to Scrap Around the World.  They are new to me, and I fell in love at first sight.  Their June mood board was SO unlike my usual colors and preferences that I wanted to try it out.  It's really quite lovely:

And here is my take:

Yep, I really departed from my comfort zone, huh?  The inspiration deatils are as follows:

• Okay, I give myself credit for at least breaking out the yellow, black and gray.  I have been holding onto that yellow patterned paper for a year, now.  It finally has a home.
• The striped paper straws helped me choose the chevron paper base.  I had meant to show only enough that it looked like just a stripe, but I guess I was my own special "helper" when trimming the paper.
• Those same straws inpired my choice of stitching with bakers twine.  I may not do that one again.  PITA is not just a tasty bread!

Beyond that, I was also inspired by this sketch, which is part of a Page Maps June challenge at scrapbook.com:

THAT's what's up with all of the stars.  Okay, that and I've been in a star-heavy mood lately.  They're on everything.  Also, I've been in a splatter and sequin mood.  This was extra-awesome today because it gave me a chance to use some highly unloved mists.

The light bulb!   I love that light bulb.  I bought it with dreams of using it all over The Boy's latest album.  This is the first time it made it out of the package  Even then, it was almost a no-go.  This was a final attempt to make it work, but even then, the mist ran under the mask and it was just a dark yellow, water-color kind of mess.  After it dried, the paper looked kinda cool, so I just traced the stencil bits onto the mess and fussy-cut it into something I kinda like.  I now have three more in my stash to figure out.  Somehow!  Some way!

The vellum!  I love my vellum.  That actually does get used; but I have a hard time letting any of it go un-seen.  The stamped quote above and below the photos was stamped on the cut-out center of the matting. 

That little bit of stamping in the background was basically a test run.  I started to assemble this page one week before school ended.  I knew I was going to use this sketch and those colors, so I figured I would start playing in advance  At that moment, I knew I was going with the vellum, but I wanted something black behind it.  That poor stamp has waited about as long as the yellow paper.  Why not?

Thank you for taking the time to look.  Thank you, more, if you took the time to read.  If you're interested in the list of things I used, here's a link to my gallery at scrapbook.com:

Since I'm writing the post early, I'll be interested to know if I can find the name of that yellow paper, too.  I know it's a Studio Calico print and I've still got the branding strip, just in case.

Just Hanging Out!

Good Morning!  I have another page to share; inspired by Stuck?! Sketches.  I have seen this sketch on several blogs that I follow.  I liked the design and saved it for added inspiration:

And here is my take:

I guess the first thing I want to talk about is the cardstock.  Of all things, right?  Apparently, I have a love/hate relationship with this shade of green. I love singing like Kermit The Frog about how it's not easy being green. I love the shade.  I hate working with it; but I'm stubborn.  Each year, I give myself permission to invest in a new "boy" collection and coordinating cardstock.  This shade is actually spot on with a few of the papers in the "Be Different" collection from Fancy Pants, so it was a natural choice.

• Problem:  Every time I pull it out to make a page, my eyes get mad at me, taking my brain along for the ride.
• Solution:  Every time this happens, I put it back and choose a different color.
• Problem:  I've run out of two of the other colors I prefer (light blue and vanilla).
• Solution:  I've ordered more.
• Problem:  I REALLY wanted to make a page -- apparently this page -- yesterday and Oh! Em! Geeeeeeeeeee!  How was I going to make this work?!
• Solution:  Throw as much navy (everything) as I could around the photos to help me chill out.  That started with two different blue mists, blue ink with stencils, and any blue embellishments I could find.  I began to settle into some comfort with my page, but then there was a very blank, massive corner of green along the right.  Gah! More mist, still bugged me.  Then I just decided to listen to the little voice inside my head.  I tested my idea first; by painting hearts with plain water,  I would at least get to see if I liked the shape and knew it would dry clear.  Once that was a go, I dipped my brush into a bottle of glimmer mist to paint heart shapes...then I felt compelled to fill them in.  Almost there; I used a bottle of Mister Huey's and traced the outside with that tiny tube/ spray pump/whirlygig..... In the moment I'm typing this, I'm mostly happy, but I still think they might need something more; maybe a little yellow triangle in each.  Maybe time will tell.

Check!  So now I can talk about everything else:

• My literal brain would have popped if I didn't choose the gaming paper for this page.  It is, afterall, about The Boy and one of my dearest friends playing Skylanders together.  He got her hooked on a previous visit so this was pretty special for them both.

• Again, I played with Pics Art photo editing to choose two colors in the photos, making the rest B/W.  I think I do that more for my benefit, so I can better focus on what I feel is important -- not the messy sofa and coffee table.
•  I went back to my early days and traced a saucer for the corrugated circle; then folded that circle in half to cut out the inside.  I then cut that ring in half and wove it between my paper layers.

•  Instead of using another paper for a large banner underneath it all, I opted to use a stencil and ink.  Then, I was compelled to pull out my trusty brick stencil as well.  Mainly, I was just trying to fight all of the green with more blue around the photo.  I hated it.

• Since I hated the bricks, I started layering over them -- stickers, journal spot.  Initially, I wasn't going to use a journal spot; but I didn't leave space at the bottom for journaling.  Plus, it was more navy to combat the green.

• And the sequin party!  Whee!  Followed by more decluttering of my desk -- the enamel pieces.  Also, I found a roller-date stamp just hanging out, wishing for some love. 

If I owned a stamp that was shaped like a video game controller, I would have thrown a couple of those images onto my page as well.  Trust me, I'm looking!  Until that magical day arrives, this page is "done."    If you're interested in learning about the products I used, here is the link to my gallery at scrapbook.com.

 http://www.scrapbook.com/myplace/index.php?mod=galleries&u=376301&m=view&id=4239263&type=-1&size=0

Thank you for looking!

Pitch Perfect?

Good Monday Morning!

I have another page to share with you.  This is my submission to the White With 1 challenge; pomegranate.  This is what I came up with:

This was a fun (read: slightly crazy) page to put together.  When the prompt was first posted, I had no specific photos in mind.  While I really wanted to work with a nice dark red (again), I had to make myself wait until it all clicked for me. Finally, there was a moment of fun in the back yard....followed by some fun with my favorite photo editing app, PicsArt.  After messing with the Color Splash option, picking out the red in their shirts, I knew I was ready to begin this challenge.  Then came the....

Confession of a Challenge Junkie:  At the same time, I really wanted to use one of the prompts in the June Page Maps challenge at scrapbook.com.  Problem:  You can't combine other challenges with White With 1 prompts.  I had to make a choice.  Obviously, we can tell which I chose, but this is why I've got the woodgrain in the background:

It's actually a combination of stencil + modeling paste + mist (added to the paste for color) + a layer of ink on top to darken the red further.

Originally, the photos were supposed to print out smaller, to follow the sketch more closely, but they were cut off and just bad.  In order to see people, I had to print larger.  Grr!  Still, I like it, because I can actually see what's happening.

Aside from the buttons, all of the other elements were pretty much "findings" on my crafting table.  They've been lurking between several months to a year.  I've tried adding them to countless pages, but they never worked.  This was their day!

I believe that's everything I wanted to say.  The product list is so short and/or hard to find, I might as well share here:

• woodgrain stencil:  Prima Marketing
• mist (mixed with modeling paste):  Tattered Angels, Red Velvet
• ink (dabbed on top of dried modeling paste for more color):  Prima fluid chalk edger, Lady Bug
• red text embellishments:  Theresa Collins (I'm pretty sure on that one; they really came from a Scraptastic kit), Family (something.... I'm horrid here)
• other red text/arrow:  Basic Grey; (pretty sure) Bow Ties
• red label:  Studio Calico printable
• Title alphas:  Jenny Bowlin and October Afternoon
• Pinked circles:  Jenny Bowlin
• airplane strip:  Echo Park, That's My Boy

Thanks for looking.  Have a great day!

Hello Handsome Part 2 of 3

Good morning! As promised, I have the complementing page to share today.  This page will be my submission for two challenges at scrapbook.com AND another new site that I dig, Scrap & Play.

 The Scrap &Play challenge is to choose a column or row from their bingo card. I chose the vertical row of buttons, Fancy Pants product and chipboard. This is what I created:

 The Boy and I needed help with his tie on Easter Sunday. Papa to the rescue! While my dad cleaned up my attempt, I snapped photos. Later, when I reviewed the hundreds of Easter photos, I noticed all of these silly faces. I was equally amused and reminded of how much he complained. These photos told part of the story of being dressed up.

 The design is based on a Page Maps sketch, which is part of the Page Maps challenge at Scrapbook.com.

I stayed fairly true to the sketch and tried to keep to an almost monochromatic color scheme.


I used the collection, Be Different, by Fancy Pants. The monsters used in each cluster have been fussy cut from patterned paper.

I'm glad I have the title pieces in my stash. The Boy Oh Boy piece was really helpful (and easy) when filling the center with an interesting shape.  I added "funny" to this piece to keep with the point, that his faces crack me up.

Want more information about the products used to make this page? Here's a link to the gallery submission at scrapbook.com.

 http://www.scrapbook.com/galleries/376301/view/4234075/-1/0/0.html

Most of the items I've used will be listed there.  Thanks for looking!  You're more than welcome to return tomorrow to see the two pages together.  Personally, I think it looks better than having them apart.

Hello, Handsome! Part 1 of 3

Good Morning!  Yes, you read that correctly, this is one of three related blog posts.  Why three posts for one (possibly mediocre) page?  So glad you asked, because I have another....

Confession of a Challenge Junkie:  What I'm sharing today is my submission for the June challenge at Scrap the Boys.  This month, the challenge is to use a photo, 5x7 or larger.  I LOVE using large photos, and I knew that I wanted to use a large photo of DS and my dad after getting the Easter Sunday tie to submit to the human will.  Also, Holy Moly, I got The Boy into a tie AND smiling!  However, there is more to the story, so there is a complimentary page that I will share tomorrow.  It is focused on other challenges.  Then, because I like how the two look together, there will be a third post, just showing that.  If I didn't love challenge sites so much, this would have been much more straight forward.

Anyway, on with the share?

• I attacked the background with a texture stamp that I've owned for about six years. I hardly ever use it, but today must have been it's lucky day.  
• My little monsters are fussy cut from a sheet of Fancy Pants, Be Different paper.  
• The "Be Different" is cut from the branding strip.  It's a message I want my son to absorb often, so I'm trying to incorporate them whenever I can.

• These layers included more fussy cutting (that little banner on the bottom), a very distressed plaid paper ruffle and a left-over strip of glittered paper.  
• Also, may we have a moment of silence for my little Prima edger that was torn apart while inking that glitter paper.  Literally, it's in two pieces now....

• The bits of vellum are leftovers from the creation of the coordinating page.  I cannot bring myself to waste a single bit of vellum that I stocked up on, so even my mistakes are getting reused whenever possible.

And that pretty well sums up this page.  Thanks for looking!  If you're interested in learning which supplies I've used, most will be linked in my gallery post at scrapbook.com  You're more than welcome to return tomorrow, if you'd like to see the rest of this three-ring circus! ;)

The Tooth Fairy Came!

Good Monday morning!  Did you enjoy your weekend?  I certainly did; so much blue sky and sunshine made for an excellent mood; especially Sunday.

Confession of a Challenge Junkie:  I've been waiting a few days for May to hurry up and get over with.  It was a great month, I had a lot of fun with paper and paint, but I also started to find myself very drawn to a few specific challenge sites.  That's only a problem because the month was ending and there was NO way I was going to meet challenges that close to deadline.  Instead, I made a list of my Absolute Must Do's and Just In-Casers.  Sunday morning, I was in Scrappy Challenge Heaven, and the DH was willing to let me obsess and play with my paper and inks for most of the day.  He's the best!

That brings me to what I'm going to share today.  I have gained a little more interest each day in the site, Scrap Our Stash . For June, they are issuing a Monochromatic Challenge.  THAT rocked my bobbysocks because I LOVE making monochromatic pages.  It's a really comfortable way to play with a lot of different elements but still keep focused on the photo.  It's also usually how I give myself permission to play as much as I want.  Ergo, this:

To keep in line with the challenge at Scrap Our Stash, my five pre-packaged elements include wooden smilies, sequins, stickers, buttons and enamel accents.  The overall design was inspired by a sketch challenge at Scrapbook.com (and I'm SO thankful that I can combine the two!):

I moved the photo to the left and changed the direction of the strip elements:

The top-left and center elements are pretty basic.  I colored the Freckled Fawn (total coincidence!) smilies to match the page; though I look forward to using them bare someday. I cut the rocket ship sticker in half to use on either side of the photo.  I used the enamel arrow to point out the journaling to the right.

The bottom cluster includes a tail and banner, attached to the plane, It's actually part of the branding strip that was at the bottom of the airplane patterned paper.  I tried to get the strip to blend in more with the page by mixing water and a Tim Holtz marker as a fake watercolor treatment.

Beyond that, the background was initially going to be a bright white/ modeling paste brick pattern.  After I had looked at all of that white for a few hours, I just couldn't stand it anymore.  It was distracting me, so I started attacking it with every red ink in my stash.  I brushed a Distressed ink over the surface, then used a wet paint brush to spread the color.  That helped, but it was a little too pink.  More must be better, right?  I then tried a Prima chalk ink, which deffinitely helped add more red.  Still, I remembered that I needed to add splatters (a twist at sb.com) so I sprayed the background with mist.  Bingo!  Then I pulled out that same brush from before, dipped into the mist and splattered my lil heart out.  I was going to add a final light coat of glitter glue to select bricks, but I had decided I was done.  Done I shall be.

Curious about which products I used?  Since I'm entering this page in two challenges at scrapbook.com, here is a link to that gallery. Most products are listed there.

 http://www.scrapbook.com/myplace/index.php?mod=galleries&u=376301&m=view&id=4231021

Thank you for looking!  Thank you for the metric ton of inspiration.  This was fun; exactly as it should be.

Crazy?

Good Wednesday Morning!

I finished a page last night and wanted to share it with you.  It's based off of Sketch 268, from Creative ScrappersSketch 268, from Creative Scrappers:








And here is my take:

Really, I did start off looking a lot like the sketch; until my loose circles fell to one side as I lifted the cardstock from the table.  As you can see, I really liked it.  Still, to be sure, I slept on it; put the circles back; turned the sketch on it's side and wound up putting it back the way The Powers That Be intended for it to be.  I really do like this sketch enough that I intend to keep playing with the general design. It might become my go-to sketch when I'm stuck.

I only took a couple close-ups but I want to mention several things about this page:

• The plain cardstock in the back was NOT making me happy.  Still, I knew I needed a large chunk of "white space" for the journaling that I'm adding, now that the pictures have been taken.  A bottle of Ranger mist has been sitting unloved for a couple years, so I combined that with my favorite stencil to create the slightest hint of interest in the background.  That was apparently my premission to have some fun.
• While I spent about 24 hours trying to decide on where I was going to put my circles, I fussed with each of them to start the layers as seen in the sketch above.  I managed to distress and ink the edges of the two navy circles before I left for a crazy-long appointment.  By the time I got home, I was tired and had forgotten to finishe the rest.  I'm telling myself that the outlining I did on two other circles AND the heart (also before the appointment) made that okay.
• Several days ago, I was finally brave enough to stop "loving" my foil paper and start cutting some of it up.  The bajillion gold and red stars are in a container, waiting for their turn, but I wasn't about to throw out the left overs.  Ergo, the red foil strip behind the circles.
• Sprinkled ink and sequins are slowly making their way into the "I Freaking Love This" category.

• What do you think about the paper airplanes?  I have been inspired by one of the sheets that Crate Paper released recently.  Then, I remembered that a couple other crafters used handmade paper airplanes on their pages within the last year.  I'm absolutely doing that again.

• Did you recognize the Dr. Seuss quote?  I LOVE that man, and about flipped my lid when I saw that Fancy Pants had a stencil with this quote.  Problem:  I only have the one stencil and am not yet prepared to attach IT to a single page.  Solution:  I popped out the letters inside the stencil for a furture page (that's one use).  I traced the inside of the stencil for this layout (that's 2 uses; but I can really do this as many times as I want).  When I start to get tired of looking at the thing, I can give myself permission to get the stencil messy by dabbing out the quote with inks, paint, etc (that's three/more uses).  Finally, when I'm REALLY done looking at the thing, I can just paint it; embellish it, do whatever I want with it and add the stencil itself to the page (that's four uses; and kills the stencil).  OH!  But check this!  I've still got the letters that I popped out, so I can pretty them up and use them as well (five/more uses to make that buck stretch.  Score!).
• That last (pretty empty) third of the page will be used for the lengthy journaling.  When The Boy starts to act overcome with energy, he will often ask me if he is crazy, or weird.  In that moment, I easily answer yes.  He quickly tells me, "Wrong answer."  My mom thinks I'm putting negative thoughts in his head.  I don't see it that way; so I want to explain to him how being crazy, or weird, is a VERY GOOD thing; that the world needs more weird people who aren't afraid to be creative, energetic, genuine, and true.  He's not "normal," and I love that about him.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

The quote in the top left is a stamp from Jillibean Soup.  It was the reason I bought the set.  It was time to start using it.  Oh, and the circles of stars are part of that same set.

Why Momma Needs Her Coffee

Good Tuesday Morning!  I started my day THUPER DEE DUPER early; like 2:30 AM early.  I'm having my twelfth or thirteenth scan today.  I'm thuper dee duper thpecial, so I also get extra steps in the preparation process. I am telling you, at this rate, I need a punch card or something.  I should get the next one free!


I digress, this wasn't my focus this morning.  Nor were the teleporting ants that are trying to take over my living spaces.  Seriously, I was JUST staring at that hugs blank wall and nothing was there.  HOW did an ant show up smack in the middle of it?!  If I stop blogging again, assume that those lil buggers carted me off to the looney bin for good.

Smell the flower (inhale)
Blow out the candle (exhale)
Repeat until the heebie jeebies stop.











Hi!  Howareya?  Welcome to my world!  Anyone care to talk about the Tooth Fairy?  Maybe pet rocks with their very own "robot" bodies?  Pet rocks might be a good idea.  The Tooth Fairy is still letting her story unfold.  These rocks, however, are living the dream, compared to the rocks I kept as a kid.  Seriously!  Check it!

So, yes.  The Boy still thinks there is a treasure map hiding somewhere within this rock.  Still, it needed a face.  Actually, it needed two faces.  It's an emotionally complex creature, as you can see.

And the robot suit!  I LOVE this suit.  He spent an hour carefully crafting it....after we tried to use oversized pipe cleaners with pitiful results.  This, however, he thought about and made completely independent of the DH and I.

Then, things got interesting.  Rocky needed a friend.  Meet Raquelle..  Her robot suit is in progress because I can't focus for longer than twenty minutes when building with Lego.  She might get hair before she gets a body.  Still, she and Rocky are getting along quite nicely.  I look forward to learning about (or participating in) their adventures for weeks (or months) to come.

As for my own adventures, I've got a couple of scrappy pages in progress right now.  One is a submission for Scrap the Boys.  The other has been inspired by the most recent sketch by Creative Scrappers.  With paper, I'm a happy camper.  Otherwise, I'm now officially tired and looking forward to a post-scan nap.

Talk About Rocks and Hard Places!

I can't decide if I'm:

A) The meanest mom ever, OR

B) A very loving mother who wants her child to feel inspired by possibility every single day.

See, there's this rock.

Much like his Momma, The Boy has a thing for collecting rocks.  Yesterday, he acquired this beauty somewhere at school.  He shared it with a classmate during recess and she returned it safely to him at the end of that break.  Cute, sweet, he's sharing and learning to trust others.  But the story doesn't end there.

The Boy and Classmate share some passion for adventure and possibility.  Upon her suggestion, he has been trying to find the treasure map secretly encoded on the surface of this rock for the past fifteen minutes.  He's carefully breathed on it.  He's given it a good bath.  He's held it up to the morning light.  I only see some really cool lines, but he thinks it might be part of the path for the treasure map.

At my core, I'm melting right now.  This is a magical age when anything can happen.  If you just believe hard enough, your dreams can come true.  It's wide-eyed wonder because everything clicks and there's SO much to learn and I just want him to be happy and optimistic and amazing forever.  It breaks my heart a little to know that at some point, solid realities will intervene and the magic won't be awe-inspiring.  He'll have to grow up; and worse, so will I.

That's not to say that I'm not mostly a grown up now.  I get the bills paid.  I get the people fed.  I keep CPS from knocking on our door.  I still seek out magic at every turn.  I pray for miracles and am truly thankful for ALL of my blessings.  Still, there's this one thing that NO ONE ever told me about parenting.  As he grows, I grow.  He has to learn how to survive and thrive as a human being -- the good and the bad -- and I have to let him.  I have to learn how to sit on my hands and watch the heartache develop and crush him.  I have to let him learn how to deal with it.  I can be there as support; to let him know that he's not alone, but he has to discover and develop the skills himself.

In this moment, I see that I have two options:

A) Start verbalizing (repeatedly, because he LOVES magic as much as I do) that it's just a rock; but we can find scientific reasons to love it, still. OR

B) While he's sleeping, I can try to paint a treasure map on this bugger and see what happens next.  Maybe we'll hunt for treasure in the backyard, because the map just happens to match it.  Maybe we find something amazing and have a memory of love to keep him going when he's a parent someday far from now.

I haven't decided, but it's going to be weighing heavy on my head and heart; even after I decide.