The Annual Report

Good Sunday morning!

Since I'm in a sharing mood, I thought I would do it again.

It seems that I make a lot of pages to honor my son's birthday. There's the cover page for the new album, usually including x facts about him (x = his age, solve for pie...or brownies). There's the page that documents how he spent his birthday. There's also something I call the Annual Report. Basically, I make a page that shows what he looked like on all of his birthdays and the day he was born. Now that he's seven, I have 8 pictures that need arranging PLUS space for writing PLUS all the fun embellishments. This year, I struggled. Even after making a collage with the PicsArt app, it was still a challenge because there were still 8 photos. Then I saw a Sunday Reveal post from Creative Scrappers. 


It was beautiful! Magical! Perfect; especially if I expanded it into a 2-pager.

Again, I'm pretty cozy with my Fancy Pants stash. I added a couple buttons from Jillybean Soup. If you'd like to see product information, here's the link to my gallery:

 Annual Report

The little monsters in the photos are pieces of clipart that can be found when using the PicsArt app. I thought they would make a perfect match to the page design.


Overall, if you were to look at most of the pages I've made, you would see I try to include lots of pictures. Sometimes, it's a difficult challenge. Fortunately, I recently watched a tutorial on YouTube that has changed everything. I've used the trick on two pages I made yesterday. I look forward to sharing both of them very soon. I'm far too excited for my own good.


Until then, the iron is calling my name. I need to get ready for next week.

Milestones

Good Saturday morning! I have been truly blessed this past week with energy, creativity and, the ever-elusive time. The boy has finally started embracing independence and likes spending some time alone, doing his thing. Currently, his thing = learning about Skylanders Trap Team. Yep! I have a gamer.


 I also have time to do things like craft and drink coffee..... I think I forgot to make myself a cup of coffee! While I pop off to fix that, I will share a page I finished yesterday. It's the title page for a fresh album, since The Boy just turned seven recently. Care to tell me what you think?

 I didn't take any close-up photos because I forgot that people do that. Sorry. Many of the doodads and whirlygigs here are Fancy Pants (Be Different). I fell in love with the collection. If you look at the bottom (red trim), I even used the branding strip because it's a message that I want The Boy to remember. Being like everyone else can be a bad idea sometimes.


The tiny dinosaurs are actually 1 part Echo Park paper and 1 part random tiny dinosaur punch that I received in a RAK years ago.


While I still have plenty of energy, I am currently distracted by a visit from my dad. If anyone reads, and would like more information, just ask. I will swing by and check comments.

 Also, I've added product links to this page, as posted at scrapbook.com.   
7 things about you

Mmm, tasty coffee!

Maybe, *Just* Maybe, Trying Again

Hi!

Hello!

Howareya?

I have to admit, I'm laughing right now because I'm not even sure that anyone is going to read this.... ever... I used to view a few blogs daily.  I used to post blogs often.  It's been a couple years since I've tried.

When last I posted, I was a bit past my first year of fighting cancer.  By the end of July, 2012, I had undergone 10 months of chemotherapy, 1 major surgery, radiation and was beginning a different chemo cocktail.

Since that last post, I stuck with that chemo regimen for about nine months.  It wasn't the worst experience, but I didn't like it.  Upshot, I kept my hair.  Downshot, I got to experience a crazy sensitivity to cold (during a Michigan winter!) and neuropathy.  By my second Cancerversary (April), we had made as much progress as we were going to make and I was given a six week break....that lasted eight glorious months.  I did beautiful things.


I celebrated Mother's Day with my son and his Kindergarten class.

I watched him graduate from Kindergarten.

I planned, and my family went on a mini vacation to the Columbus Zoo.  We hadn't gone on
ANY vacation in about twelve years.

I planned, and my family went on our very first camping trip.  My husband has plenty of experience camping, but it was new to my son and I.

My son and I got to experience homework.  I've given it plenty of times, but this was an eye-opener!


We did ALL of the Fall things.


I prepared to celebrate one of the best Christmases EVER.....and then the giant ice storm brought all the change.


In Januaray of 2014, new growth was found and I've been back at the chemo clinic ever since.

But, hey!  I'm still here.  My feed are on *this* side of the grass.  Spring is upon us, even in Michigan.  It's time to renew and see what beauty is waiting to be held.

I should probably admit right now that this week has been an uncommon one.  I have much more energy in this "off" week than I have had in previous off weeks.  My oncologist and I are working on finding ways to get me living more.  That's exactly what I want to do; live MORE!  I want to get back to celebrating life.  It's a pretty darn beautiful thing indeed, is it not?

Why not be the beginning of it all?

Good Tuesday Morning!  It's an early one at that.  Once again, I awoke around 4 AM, my brain just ready to go.  Of course, once I've gotten this bit of writing out of my system, I'll likely be tired again; craving my bed; praying my son will let me sleep for an hour before I participate in his day.

I awoke because of another dream that had something to do with my long-defunct teaching career.  For the first time in a dream, I said "goodbye" to it.  Or, rather, I finally tried saying "goodbye" to a former colleague; couldn't find her in the (apparently) ginormous high-school-reunion crowd; thought "screw it, I'm gone," and made the most graceful run for the glass doors to head home.

Yeah, I have issues.

I have a lot of issues.  I'm voluminous with them all; and I have no segue into the rest of my rambling.

Awesome, right?

Actually, I might.  There is a bit of awesome in my life right now.  Okay, there are LOTS of awesome bits in my life, but this one is a corner bit.  It took me two weeks to absorb all the information and fully appreciate it.  Vaguely speaking, I'm almost "there."

"There" would refer to the end of this battle with cancer.  So far, it has lasted fifteen months (of treatment, never mind the growing process!). I've had several months of chemotherapy.  In the winter, I underwent surgery to remove the main tumor.  In the Spring, I experienced radiation, to ensure nothing else grew in my lap.  Now, I'm in something I consider to be the final phase.  There's more chemotherapy, with a different cocktail.  It should be finished within the next six months.  This will be followed by a step-down to a lighter chemo cocktail, more scans, more discussion, less nausea.

The time frame is long, but I still consider myself "almost done" with this.  It's small and huge at the same time.

Small:  I'm still doing chemo; and through the remainder of the year at that.  Likely, it will continue into next year. Essentially, nothing new is happening in my life.

HUGE:  I AM getting my life back.  I can start reviewing my resume; evaluating part time jobs; getting back into the kitchen and cooking for my family; establishing an exercise routine; contemplating the long-term loss of four pounds (then the vanity ten), blogging, creating nearly everyday....

I have a feeling it would be most wise to take baby steps all the way around.  This morning, I'll make a hot breakfast for my son; either oatmeal or French toast for myself.  (P.S, he woke up to the sound of all this clacking.  yay.)  I'll gather ingredients for an awesome dinner salad tonight (because I'm truly craving one). I'll refill the humidifier (thank you, Avastin for bloody noses! I didn't actually miss those!) get the frigging laundry in the frigging wash; play with zee boy and settle my brain on Project 365.

A couple-ish weeks ago, I decided that I missed documenting "the everyday," but have no desire to make 24 scrapbook albums about it.  However, I can grab the camera and fill a P365 album with it all. This is part of what kept me awake at 4 AM; having this proof that "my life" was coming back to me; having this proof that I can move on.  With a decided theme of "365 Days NOT Owned by Cancer," I couldn't decide when Day 1 would be.  When do I officially declare my independence?  On what amazing day do I reclaim myself?

And why do I still think I've got a million days promised to me so I can just pick and choose like that?

So, why not start yesterday?  Why not make Monday, (I LOVE Mondays) July 23, 2012 the beginning of "it all?"

Why not start with this face?

We're going to need a bigger boat!

That's something I find myself thinking often, "We're going to need a bigger boat."  I DID NOT like that movie, but it gave me one of the best lines of my life.  It applies equally to things, cubic space, strength, available time... Pretty much anything you can imagine, I need a larger vessel to contain as much of it as possible... Except potty training.  I could live a content life without another day of potty training.

Proper use of toilet paper aside, I admit freely that I am a consumer.  I love to have things.  I love to surround myself with good, smart, loving people.  I love to make lists of ideas and projects.  I love a fridge full of blueberries and a pantry shelf of Pop Tarts....*sip* Coffee mugs!  I love to have as many appropriate artsy items as my cabinet will hold.  I love creating lists of videos on YouTube.  I love building the Island of Sodor with Zee Boy -- it's never the same island twice.  And yet...

And yet, even with so many blessings -- so much stuff, so much freedom of space and thought -- I always want "just a little bit more."

There are never enough specialized pieces of track, bridges, high rises, just-one-more-freaking-curve track for the island.

There are never enough teeny tiny friggin Lego pieces to walk on in the middle of the night.

There's always a need for a shade of ink/paint/glitter/mist/marker (Oh, the Tim Holtz markers that make me choke on a price tag!).

There's always a thought that a project needs this fabulous stamped image residing in my mind, or another stencil for the bacground, or another Cricut cartridge (where I again choke on the price tag).

There's always a need for that perfect "boy" paper -- and I'm grateful I use up what I have on hand in the process of pining for more, but....

Cups of coffee end too soon.  I'm thinking of hooking up a restauraunt caraffe in my bedroom -- with a timer to start brewing at 5 AM.

Summer's great for playing outside, but bed time rears up all too fast.

Book shelves are meant to be filled!  Zee Boy has learned (because I've told him) that I will always allow him to pick at least one book if we swing by Barnes & Noble; but I'll hold off on trains and Legos and Power Rangers Samurai Megazords till the cows come home.

You probably got the idea half a mile ago, when I started this post.  There's always room, in my heart and imagination for MORE.  It's a beautiful and frustrating concept to accept.  I think it's on my mind a lot right now simply because I'm actively trying to NOT consume. It's a lot like trying to NOT think of the elephant in the room; but it's there all the same.

The paper is still pretty and sooooooo many different patterns and means to use it.... I have plenty on hand.

The paints and stencils are increasingly on my radar... but not necessary for daily survival.

And stamps!  I don't even stamp, but I "think" I need to amass a baker's dozen right now.

Pop Tarts are carbo goodness, but not actually food.  I don't know what they are, but my body recognizes them less and less as "edible" anyway.

Etsy has some amazing rings and bobbles, but it's a chore to don my wedding ring each day.

There are enough Legos under foot.

There is enough train track.

Zee boy has enough socks.... and underwear... for three weeks at least.

We have our health.... Okay, we all woke up this morning and are able to function as humans were designed.

We have a strong roof over our heads.

Even with the cupboards resembling Old Mother Hubbard's ... we have more than other families.  We are spare.

*exhale*

We are blessed to float in the boat we've been given. 

Perhaps, I should spend a little more time being consumed with gratitude instead.

Ugh! *blink blink*

When you fight cancer long enough, you make some very meaningful friends.  For most of us "Day 1" of each cycle is a long day to be sitting around, doing nothing and feeling sorry for yourself.  I'm actually quite blessed to be surrounded so often by extremely positive people; all fighters as well.  None of us want to endulge in self pity; so we talk instead.  We've gotten to know each other pretty well.  We've even exchanged phone numbers and talked about getting together for coffee.

That was the big plan for one of the women I absolutely adore.  Her name is Carol.  She's a grandmother with spirit and determination to spare.  I admit, I didn't know what to make of her at first.  She had the same cancer as I do; same stage; but was always ready to head out for lunch or shopping once she was done getting chemo that day.  At first, I thought she was just nuts; but I came to admire her and look forward to seeing her every couple of weeks.  When our schedules stopped meshing, I'd ask the nurses and other mutual friends if they had seen her and what she was up to, now.

She and her sister would often make muffins to share with the group.  It took a long time for me to try one -- simple matter of finding the right anti-nausea meds -- but when I did, I could tell you easily how glorious they were.  The last batch I got to try had apples, I remember that.  It will be one of my favorite memories of her.

She hated that she had to stop working -- loved to stay busy and independent!
She must have been crafty because she was always telling her sister they needed to go to JoAnn's later that day.
She loathed her walker and was extra peppy on the days she drove herself anywhere.
LOL!  She hated pants; especially those with elastic waist bands.

I learned yesterday that she passed away a few weeks ago.

I don't know the exact details.  I don't think I need to.  My heart breaks for her family right now.  They, and the world, lost a powerhouse of strength and courage.

.....

Up and Down the Rabbit Hole

Hello! Hi! Howareya?

Okay, it's been many moons since I've made a post.  Wanna know how I can tell?  Yes, besides checking the date of my last post.... This here new Blogger setup has my eyes wanting to screw up and around.  I can rub my forehead and ask "WHY?!" or I can get over it.

I really did mean it when I last wrote of how badly I wanted to get back to blogging in general.  I'm just trying to figure out HOW to incorporate it into my everyday life.  It seems I've figured it out a bit today.  We can all thank this site and this site.

Why can we thank Scrapbook.com?  They hosted a kick-keester National Scrapbook Day on May 5th.  I was blessed by a good husband and loving MIL (who nabbed m'boy at the first syllable) so that I could participate in the day's activities.  And, I won a VERY awesome package.  It arrived on my doorstep this past Monday:

If you're a lover of crafty goodness, you probably know exactly how awesome this quick pic is.  In the bottom left is an art journal.  I was geeked because, two night prior to touching all this delight, I went down a rabbit hole of artsy/inky/painty/stencily wonder.  I decided I wanted to try this concept of art journaling.  I'm thinking that book was a sign that surely, I must!

And so I have!

This is one of the blank calendar pages in the album.  Initially, I used it to fill in important doctor's appointments, m'boy's school events, etc.  Then, the month progressed, but my cancer treatments did not.

For anyone who is just joining this blog in progress, here's the breakdown:

April 1, 2011, I learned I had stage four cancer.  Donkey balls, I know.
April 8, 2011, I had a plan of attack -- turned out to be about eight months of wicked chemo.
February 24, 2012, I got a brand new purty scar (named her Irene), as they removed the main tumor.
April 23, 2012, I returned to battle the remaining cancer with recommended radiation and chemo.

See that cute lil playing card with the seven?  That's how many treatments of radiation I've received so far.  I'm supposed to have 28.  Had the door never broken for two days; a flood not have wiped out the roads; and my whites and platelets stayed up, I would have received treatment number...seventeen today. 

*sigh*  I feel frustrated; but my doctor's don't.  That's what this page is mostly about.  With the prompt from A Year in the Life an Art Journal; I am trying to remember to bloom where I am planted.  I may have hit a brick wall in my progress.  I may have been told A LOT lately to Regressa, Ud. Manana (Come Back Tomorrow).  Damnit all if I'm not trying to bloom.  Monday, I helped my mother plant flowers around the house -- though not the ones on the page -- pretty salmon geraniums and impatients that glimmer in the sun.  Since then, I've been trying my hand at art.

And now, it is time to get m'boy from school and see what adventures he'd like to take on today.

As always, if you did, thanks for reading.

How will you bloom today?