Good Monday Morning! Yep, I'm still obnoxiously grateful to have another Monday morning on this rock. I know, a lot of people hate Mondays. It's hard to get back into the routine after a relaxing weekend. Those who work outside of the home have to return to jobs that they might not necessarily enjoy; going from a place of love and laughter to frustration and maybe fear. Yeah, I get that. If I could hug them, I would. All the same, I love Mondays.
One of the reasons I love Monday so much leads to a bit of a confession. Ready?
Cancer or not -- surgery or not -- I'm vain. I can't lie about it. I might forget to leave the home wearing Molly (or at least a hat) sometimes. I might forget most mornings to figure out correct makeup application. I might wear the same clothes a couple days in a row. Regardless, I'm still vain.
And that wasn't even the confession!
Because of vanity, I do try to eat and act as healthfully as possible. I also kinda sorta try to shed a set number of pounds that I relocated on my cancer journey.
See, early readers may (or may not) remember that, just before finding out I had cancer, I had gotten my keester back in gear to lose a ton of weight -- about eighty pounds. I was successful at losing that weight. In the month prior to my diagnosis I was REALLY good at losing that weight -- about three to six pounds a week -- but I later learned, that's because of the cancer. Consequently, I lost too much weight.
I wanted to maintain around 160 lbs -- my happy place, size Medium, etc. Yeah, I dropped down to the 140's even during the first couple/few rounds of chemo. Not being able to eat will do that t'ya. On me, 140 looks bad. It feels weird when you sit on the floor, too. Even my skinny jeans had room to move.
I decided that this was an opportunity to eat whatever I could, whenever I could. Medical professionals and The DH pretty much agreed with me. In retrospect, Pop Tarts, cookies, cakes, pies and my Mom's awesome cooking were probably not my best choice. They were tasty, but not my best choice. Either way, as the months ticked on, all those choices helped me regain the fifteen-ish pounds I didn't want to lose....and then, eventually, ten extra that I didn't want back.
So, I talked to my oncologist. Mostly, I wanted to get back to eating healthfully; but I knew that I would need my happy little crutch -- Weight Watchers. I even brought it up at three different appointments to be sure that he was okay with it. He was; so I rejoined.
Now, ask me. Have I lost those unwanted ten pounds? No. I still want to. I've gotten better at eating healthfully, but using the Points Plus number to know when I'm "done" eating has been a challenge. In part, I think it's because I'm still trying to make the mental transition from processed crappy carbs to the better choices. Mentally, I still feel like I've earned the right to a giant chocolate muffin half way through the week. It's faulty thinking, and I'm working on it.
So, what does all this rambling have to do with Mondays and new beginnings?
Monday is my day to "weigh in." It's my day to restart; recommit. It's when I dust myself off and try again. Monday is my day to remind myself that all things are possible when I want them badly enough. Right now, there are a few things I want badly enough.
If you read all of this, thank you for taking the time. Here are the magic beans that will give you back your time.
Do you have a "reboot" day?
Do you believe it's possible to try again? Or do you decide, once you're down you'll always be out?